No Occasion Necessary

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I think a lot about ritual, and how important it is in my life. Rituals usually take the form of some religious ceremony or tradition — from weekly Shabbat dinners and services, to confirmations, b’nai mitzvot, weddings, and of course funerals and mourning. I embrace them all. I’ve also, of course, talked about my nightly ritual of laying out workout clothes (my other religion, besides Judaism, is… Peloton 😀).But I used to scoff at big parties that were seemingly held for no real reason. I just didn’t get it.
Wow, have I evolved in my thinking about that.

No matter your politics, your religion, your nationality — we know that the world is in a period of serious upheaval. Each day feels like a decade of news has happened. We’re inundated with change, challenge, and a general sense of feeling unmoored.

And one of the best ways for me — and maybe for you — to feel secure and rooted in community is by hosting and attending events. Getting out of the house, or inviting people in. Whether it’s a dinner, a speaker, a lecture, a fundraiser, a party, or a college or professional sports game — it doesn’t matter what it is. It’s the opportunity to move away from the heaviness of the day and to choose togetherness in its many forms.

I still remember that when Covid began, one of my first realizations was that our lives were suddenly circumscribed and smaller. Getting together, being in the community — all of that was suddenly verboten. I loved being home with my family (most of the time!), but I missed being around people I knew and people I didn’t yet know.

And just a couple of weeks ago, when I was in California, a few friends went out of their way to come see me. There was no big event attached to it. No milestone. Just lunch, conversation, a little rearranging of schedules. And it lit up my whole trip. Not the sunshine. Not the scenery. The people.

I once described myself as an adventurous homebody. I love being out and about, but I also love being home.

So I like to combine the two and have people over to our house. Thankfully (or maybe by design?), Eddie enjoys it, too. It almost doesn’t matter for what. It could be book club, or Shabbat dinner, a Neighbors watch party (are you watching? You should be), or really anything. The chance to be in person, to have conversation, to connect, learn, talk, and laugh — all of that makes life better, and the end of Covid marked its welcome return.

Here’s what I’ve learned: We don’t need a reason to gather. The gathering is the reason.

If the world feels unsteady, anchor yourself in people. Invite someone over. Say yes to the lecture. Show up to the fundraiser. Go to the game. Make the dinner reservation. Host the watch party.

Community doesn’t happen accidentally. It happens because someone decides to reach out.

The communities we build in ordinary moments are often the ones that carry us through the extraordinary ones.

And if hosting feels like too much right now, start smaller. Reach out. Suggest a walk. Ask someone for coffee.

Or ask me.

I mean that. If you’re local and you’ve been thinking, “We should get together,” consider this your invitation. Let’s take a walk. Let’s grab coffee. No agenda necessary.
No occasion necessary.

Fondly,

Kari